Beyond Assets: The Power of Ethical Wills

What do you hope to leave behind for your loved ones? Beyond the financial aspect, how do you hope your legacy will be felt and remembered?

These questions lie at the heart of every estate plan and typically inform discussions about the things that someone plans to leave behind: homes, savings, heirlooms, and other types of assets. However, the most meaningful legacies are often those we leave our loved ones in the form of moral guidance, personal values, and life lessons.

Ethical wills (often also called legacy letters, guidance letters, or values statements) have roots in ancient biblical culture, where they began as spoken messages passed from one generation to the next. Now embraced by people of all faiths and backgrounds, the ethical will has evolved into a nonlegal document used to pass something more intangible on to loved ones. Unlike a last will and testament, which directs how your money and property are to be distributed after your death, an ethical will shares your values, beliefs, and hopes. It adds the why to an estate plan, which traditionally focuses only on the what and how.

Ethical wills are as relevant as they have ever been and can help you leave meaning—not just money—as part of your legacy.

A History of Ethical Wills: From Biblical Patriarchs to Modern Families

In the Book of Genesis, the patriarch Jacob, nearing death, calls his 12 sons to his bedside and talks to them about his hopes for each one’s future. He gives blessings and specific moral instructions for each son’s future conduct. His words provide an early example of an ethical will because they blend guidance, values, and hopes meant to shape the next generation.

That ancient practice of fusing blessing, instruction, guidance, and hope did not end in biblical times. It sparked a written tradition of ethical wills that Jewish families carried throughout medieval Europe and into modern life. Even now, millennia later, many families create an ethical will alongside their legal estate planning documents to give their loved ones the most valuable inheritance of all: their personal story, wisdom, and values.

What Ethical Wills Are—and Are Not

In a modern sense, an ethical will allows you to leave behind your own set of guiding principles—your personal “shalls” and “shall nots”—which can be just as foundational to your estate plan as your last will and testament.

What an ethical will is:

• A record of your values, beliefs, and intentions—not your property
• A guide for loved ones, offering context for decisions you have made in life and in your estate plan
• A thoughtful tool for reflection, helping you articulate what really matters to you and what you hope to pass on beyond material belongings

What an ethical will is not:

• A legally binding document; it cannot distribute property or enforce financial decisions, which remains the role of a last will and testament or a trust
• A replacement for formal estate planning; ethical wills complement, rather than replace, traditional legal tools
• Something to create only at the end of your life; while many people do in fact write them later in life, an ethical will can be created at any age, updated over time, and shared whenever it feels meaningful

A traditional last will and testament explains who inherits from your estate, what they will receive, and when and how they will receive it. An ethical will answers the why, capturing the moral and personal meaning behind the legacy you are leaving.

Your legal documents may specify which family members are to receive your house or savings and include provisions such as spendthrift clauses, special needs trusts, or continuing trusts for beneficiaries with distributions tied to certain ages or milestones. Your ethical will can share the reasoning behind those choices. It can build on conversations and lessons you shared with loved ones during your lifetime, serving as a last reflection of your values, experiences, and hopes for the future. Think of it as your own lasting message meant to guide and encourage the people you love.

What to Include in an Ethical Will

You are under no legal obligation to create either a last will and testament or an ethical will. In fact, roughly two-thirds of Americans do not have a last will and testament. When asked why, most people say they just “haven’t gotten around to it” or “don’t have enough assets to leave to anyone.”

You may have the same reasons for not creating an ethical will. Or you may be unsure of what to say or how to start. You may believe that you have already said what you needed to say during life through your words and actions and feel content trusting that your legacy will be understood.

When deciding whether to create an ethical will, consider engaging in the following simple exercise: Ask yourself, if you had one last chance to tell the people you love what truly matters to you and to share the wisdom you have gained from decades of choices and experiences, would you want to? What would you say? Most people are surprised by how much clarity and comfort the process of writing an ethical will brings—not just to their families but also to themselves. What seems optional at first often becomes a meaningful opportunity to articulate beliefs and intentions that might otherwise go unspoken.

When and How to Create an Ethical Will

Whether we are living blessedly in a land of milk and honey or managing a more modest estate, the legacies we leave can be shaped and strengthened by the lessons, beliefs, and values we impart regardless of our land, personal belongings, and material possessions.

There is no “right time” to create an ethical will. There is, however, limited time to create one if you want it to be well thought out, documented, and presented in a shareable, preservable format. Deathbed confessionals provide a dramatic flair, but you may prefer to take your time and ensure that the words come out right.

Distilling down a lifetime of experience is no small task. Many people find it meaningful to write or record their ethical will at turning points in their lifetime such as the birth of a child or grandchild, retirement, recovery from illness, or simply during a quiet season of reflection. Like a last will and testament, an ethical will can expand and change as you do. Your perspective at age 40 may differ from your perspective at 70, and that evolution itself becomes part of your legacy.

Ethical wills have evolved over time from oral proclamations to written letters. Today, they can take almost any form that feels authentic to you:

• A handwritten letter or journal
• An audio recording or voice memo
• A video message or short documentary
• A digital time capsule through a service such as Storyworth or My Life in a Book
• A personal scrapbook
• An artistic legacy, such as a poem, song, or curated playlist
• A shared online document that grows with family contributions

There is also no single correct way to share an ethical will. Some people choose to keep it private until their death, entrusting a copy to their attorney or executor. Others share it during life as part of a family gathering, holiday letter, or milestone celebration so loved ones can discuss and reflect on it together.

If you store it digitally, back it up in multiple locations or cloud services. If you write it by hand, make copies and keep one with your estate planning documents. You can also use a service like Future Me, which will deliver your digital letter at a predetermined future time.

However you choose to deliver it, your ethical will can become a lasting part of your legacy and may be what your loved ones remember most when everything else fades into the background.

Family heirlooms do not have to be limited to physical possessions. They can just as powerfully take the form of insights gained from lived experience, preserved and passed down from generation to generation to lead your people . . . to the Promised Land.